


Can't Keep My Eyes Off Of You (Phan Fluff)

by thegirlwholikestowrite



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Car Accidents, Character Death, Dan PlayingPiano, Death, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hospitals, Letters, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Museum Opening, One Night Stands, One Shot, Sad Ending, Soul Bond, artist Phil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2015-05-05
Packaged: 2018-03-29 02:52:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3879421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegirlwholikestowrite/pseuds/thegirlwholikestowrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan is playing piano at a museum opening and Phil happens to be there. They just think it is a one night stand but one simple mistake breaks apart everthing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't Keep My Eyes Off Of You (Phan Fluff)

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so guys I have just been inspired to write angst so I will probably post one angst and one fluff a day because why not.  
> this is kind of angst i dont even know what this was.  
> I was inspired by a textpost and a song.  
> You should listen to that while reading IDK.
> 
>  
> 
> Florence and The Machine- Over The Love

The day I met you, I didn’t know that you would be the one to bring color to my world. I hoped to spend a night with you and leave the next day like I always did. But I didn’t, something kept me from leaving your side, something pushed me down on that bed. No matter how hard I tried, your messed up brown hair, long fingers trailing over my bare chest, amazed me so much that I couldn’t find it in my drunken self to get up and leave without a word.

So I stayed. It was the most beautiful mistake I have ever made.

Whatever you want to call it, your proud smirk after your fingers stopped dancing over the white keys stopped me. In a room full of people, my eyes chose to stay on you for the rest of the night. Your smile was electrifying. I couldn’t help it when all those unclean thoughts rushed into my head when you loosened your tie with those perfectly sculpted hands of yours. And you noticed me, took me home. Let _your_ fingers dance around over me, playing with _my_ strings.

Your music always fascinated me, it was what caught my attention. It was a simple song, nothing too fancy or too special for a museum opening. It somehow matched you. It matched the way you walked, with a small joyful leap in your step. It matched the way you talked, loud but understanding. It matched your eyes, it sparkled and reflected all the light I had.

If I was given the chance, to listen to you for an eternity, I would have agreed without a second thought. Because as I laid in a strange bed with a stranger, I heard that music from your heartbeat. You were a stranger maybe, but your heart wasn’t.

My clothes still smell like you.

And I still find myself thinking about you on times like this, when it’s raining.

Ever since I was little, I would think about how it would feel to be in love, how amazingly beautiful it would be to fall in love. And it sometimes scared me, how fast it would happen. And I would miss it if a blinked at the wrong time.

But I was looking at the right direction when I saw you.

Love doesn’t feel nice, or beautiful. Overly pretentious and poetic exaggerations in books or poems talk about something other than love.

Love is mean and hard. And it breaks you, snaps you in half, leaves you in shattered pieces. And you find yourself liking the pain it gives you. You find yourself longing for the familiar drop of your heart in a simple stare of a random individual. You find your happiness depending on someone’s smile.

Someone so different and so full of you.

You became a piece of me in one night, so hats off to you.

And when you agreed to let me stay around for a couple of days after an awkward talk and number exchanges, I fell in love with you a little bit more. It was like falling off a cliff but never landing.

And when I was busy with my last drawing of you on a quiet Thursday night, I landed completely. It was a call from you. But it wasn’t you speaking on the other end.

It was a stranger.

A real stranger this time.

And when they told me that you had been in a horrible car accident with serious injuries, and I was the first person on speed dial, I landed.

My knees trembled and I was so sure then.

I loved you.

Because there was no way of explaining why those words hurt me so much if you actually were a stranger to me. You weren’t, you were Dan and you were somehow mine without me knowing it.

I wish I had known you earlier.

I wish I had told you I loved you.

I wish you didn’t have to die.

I wish I could get to know you.

I wish I could get to watch your dimples deepen and eyes shine.

I wish I could have made you smile.

I wish I could have got to hear you say my name. Say that you loved me back.

I wish a lot of things, but they are things I can never get back. And it seems like I’m not getting you back either.

This hurts more than it should, Dan.

Saying goodbye to a stranger shouldn’t leave a hallow emptiness in my chest and a strange pain in my throat.

Knowing that I am saying goodbye forever hurts more.

And I no longer know if love is a good thing.

I would like to see you in a different light, different setting, with a different smile on your face, only reserved for me. Not a fake plastered one that I had fallen in love with.

I would like to hold your hand as we walked through streets we hadn’t known, we would get lost in a strange town and I would get lost in your eyes.

We would still find our way around.

I would like to take you on long walks over the London Bridge and kiss you under the rain and get to call you mine.

I would like to be with you right now.

I guess this is a goodbye that you will never get to hear. So I am sorry.

For not telling you how beautiful you looked, how you showed who you truly were with me, under your grey sheets, the look of confidence completely demolished as you shivered in my arms. Everything about you is beautiful; it just doesn’t make any sense that someone like you could be dead.

It doesn’t make any sense at all.

And it doesn’t make any sense that my name was on your number one speed dial.

And I still love you, just so you know.

Somehow always will.

Phil Lester.

 


End file.
